The Summoning
by CasterWay
Summary: Eleven of the fandom's greatest protagonists are summoned to save the world via unorthodox means. Co-written with The Grey Coinicidence.


**For Keldor, who had the good will to help us through our works, and who had the good fortune to be born on this day.**

**This fic is strictly non-canon to Mossflower Odyssey V, unless Airan decides that it is canon.**

**SPOILER WARNING FOR BLACK AND WHITE, SIXCLAW, THE GREY WARLORD, A REALM REBORN, AND ALL BOOKS OF THE URTHBLOOD SAGA**

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"Where am I?" A shrew asked as he woke up. The world around him was as white as a cloud. Almost dreamlike. The shrew was short, like most shrews, but he was also astute, unlike most shrews. His height (or lack thereof) aside, an eyepatch over a former eye was his most defining feature.

"Hey, who are you?" Responded a voice. It belonged to an otter, dressed in garments fit for royalty, which he happened to be.

"I'm Tragg the One-Eyed, son of Broge, Chief of the Northtrekkers." The shrew responded, standing up now. "And who are you?"

"Thordan Swalestrom, King of Dravania, Lord of Meraholmer, son of Erlend, Lord of Kaldos and Lorelei, Queen of Garlesca." The otterlord replied, crossing his paws over his chest.

"That's a mouthful." A young ferret muttered, rubbing at his eyes as he stood up.

"Who might you be?" Came the shrew's voice.

"I'm Fret." The ferret paused for thought and a moment later added. "Jokes about my name already exist back where I come from, so don't even try."

"Back where you… come from?" Thordan raised an eyebrow. "Do you know where we are?"

"Oh, great. There's lame kids in this crossover. Brilliant." A one-eyed and ferocious-looking wildcat appeared. Clad in cliched black armour he was armed with all sorts of weapons, including some that did not belong anywhere near Redwall. "We're having a crossover y'see, us. We are figments of the imagination of cruel beings, destined to suffer as long as they exist."

"Right." Tragg's eyes squinted.

"And you know this, how?" Fret demanded.

"I can break the fourth wall just as easily as your back, ferret." The wildcat replied.

"Somehow I feel that that doesn't explain anything," boomed the voice of a large badger. In blood-red armour he was clad, and he had only one paw.

"Mucker, wot's goin' on?" Came another voice.

"'Aven't got a clue. We oughts te hide ourselves, blend inter the background." Yet another voice squeaked out. A pair of stoats dropped to the shining floor and made themselves as small as possible. The assembled creatures watched on, confused more than ever.

"Keep still mucker, an' nobeast'll see us!"

"We can still see you." Fret snapped.

"Quiet ye idjit! Iffen ye talks so much they'll 'ear us for sure!"

Before the ferret could snap any further, or indeed kick them as was his inclination, another voice joined the assembled creatures.

"Well, hello there, beautiful ladies." Another otter stepped up, in even more extravagant clothing than the first. A pair of maidens, a rat and badger respectively, glared daggers at the otterking. "Hey!" He protested. "This is an alternate dimension! I get a pass on cheating here!"

"Maybe…" said the badgermaid, hesitantly. Beth was not so old and knew little of how the world worked, but her two-pawed sword usually did the talking for her.

The otter, also called Thordan, was undaunted, deliberately ignoring the consequences of angering a beast two times larger than himself. "That's what I'm talking about! Hello there, beautiful. Again."

Beth snapped. "Not gonna happen, rudderbrain!"

"Not even if you're the last protagonist in the multiverse! Or the entirety of literature!" This came from the rat, Latura, who happened to be a seer quite unlike the stereotypical seer. Perhaps this was endeared her to Old King Thordan.

"Hello, everyone. Did someone order a buffet of optimism in a horrible world?" The next voice belonged to a squirrel, cloaked in brown and with some kind of weapon hilt hanging on her belt. Larina Skyleaf was the only Jedi of the beasts that happened to be summoned here.

"As a matter of fact, yes!" Latura exclaimed.

"Doesn't that describe all of us?" The otter went on, still determined to get in the ladies good books.

"No." Said Urthblood, looking cross. It was as if he'd been wrenched away from some important duty.

"Not all of us." Fret agreed. May I ask why we're here anyway? We get wrenched away from our original worlds, and get plopped in the middle of this random wasteland for apparently no reason at all!"

"It's not really a wasteland." Old Thordan cleared his throat. "More of a… well… something. Also, looks like your fourth-wall breaking powers are coming in handy!"

"M-my what?"

Before anyone could mention that suddenly they all seemed to understand that they were fictional characters belonging to different authors, there came a flash of bright light. A sable of seventeen seasons stepped out of the radiance, hooded in a tunic and shroud, with a stripe of fur lacking along her cheek.

"Greetings, all of you. I am Mekai, the Seeress of Nest. You are called to compete in-"

The elder Thordan broke the silence. "A 'Who dies first' contest! I knew it! I got it in the bag!"

"Perhaps a 'Saddest Death' one?" Latura raised a paw up.

"Maybe a tally of near-death experiences? Only thing I can win with my record…" Fret sighed.

"Number of eyes lost?" Tragg and One-Eye asked in unison.

"No! I don't even… Why would I… Anyway…" The sable cleared her throat. "Once calm winds have changed course, carrying in their wake a prophecy that threatens peaceful creatures have forever known. Invaders shall arrive from across the sea with weapons in paw and what can only be described as a living god at their helm, ready to slaughter in a relentless pursuit of conquest. But there is still hope yet. For ten warriors-" She glanced down at the pair of stoats cowering upon the ground. "Eleven. Eleven warriors, heaven-sent, shall appear in the darkest hour to defeat both god and army, and save Nest from certain ruin. As time passed, no heroes have shown, and the invaders grow ever closer. I have grown restless with waiting and set out on my own to bring you myself. But even when you're found, the odds are stacked against you at least a hundred to one."

Fret scratched idly at his chin while Larina puffed herself up with pride. The squirrelmaid, but not the ferret, was bursting with confidence.

The seeress continued. "So you must obtain the light - the light no darkness can hold. The light… of the best Redwall fanfiction!" There was a long and awkward silence, wherein even the overly-talkative Old Thordan knew not what to say. The sable opened her mouth again, attempting to clarify everything. "You must determine which is the best fanfiction amongst you and only then will you prevail over the Suneater and the chaos he brings. And try to refrain from violence, all of you."

"Is this a joke? You gather ten - eleven of the multiverse's greatest heroes-" The one-pawed badger glanced in the direction of One-Eye and corrected his statement. "Greatest _protagonists _in one place to settle a debate?"

"Suits me," said Old Thordan. "This will be quick." The otter pointed a claw at himself. "I think we all know who's the best here, right? Right?"

"Exactly!" Urthblood agreed. "It is no contest. My fic is objectively the best. Not a single one of you would be here if it was not for me, in fact. After all, I was the first to make vermin less verminous."

"I don't even know who you are." Fret pointed out.

"Yeah! Get real! Your fic's plot moves like a dead snail in space! Nothing important happened in The Shrew War! Oh, there's this ratking Tratton! He's not Urthblood, and only nominally! Pah! Being the first is all you've got, oldfur!" The wildcat, One-Eye, snarled, already reaching for his many weapons.

The badgerlord's response was as cool as a cucumber. "If I remember correctly, your fic's plot is like a romance fanfic written by a kid. Oh wait, it is _exactly _a romance fanfic written by a kid. At least you have the most room for improvement out of us all."

"Hey! I don't really know about being the best fic and all, but at least I'm improving, with the remaster and everything! But then, it isn't that hard to improve on perfection." The younger Thordan smirked. "I nailed it once, and I am all set to nail it again."

"At least my fic made readers laugh." Fret snapped, determined to remain involved. Unlike you three! Where I come from every character has their moment! The woodlanders too! Even the villains get to laugh!"

Beth the badger decided to speak. "Yes, but nobeast cares about laughs once everyone's laughing. They hid the darker moments a bit too perfectly."

The one-eyed shrew produced a similar response. "I did better than you here, ferret! And at least I never lost my memories due to sheer stupidity! How does hitting your head really hard lead to amnesia?" Tragg crossed his paws over his chest and smirked up at the ferret.

Fret was not the most confident of fighters, but spurred on by the realisation that his plot armour was nigh indestructible, he raised his fist. "Wanna see?"

"Nobeast wants to see you make a fool of yourself." Young Thordan cleared his throat and ignored the ferret's glare. "Besides, I think I win in the character department. You want to whinge about minor characters that you can't remember? I had to shoulder the burden of memorising every single noble in the Southern Realms as my education!"

"So what?" Fret snapped.

"I've never even heard of the Southern Realms." Tragg added.

"Sorry grandson, but I'll have to side with Grumpy-Pants and Cyclops here! My fic actually contains backstory and has a much better cast! I mean, at least I didn't introduce twelve characters in one go in the prologue!" The otterlord thumped his chest with pride. "Old Thordan, best Thordan! And don't try to argue otherwise! Respect your elders, because if it weren't for me, you'd have never been born!

"I love how you brag about your characters when none of them really matter." Fret piped up, coming between the Thordans. "Most of you two's noble friends die early on in the story! My friends survive, and they get Points of View! My author knows how to sculpt characters out with ease, and all of my cast are memorable." Being able to break the fourth wall was fun and Fret, now smirking with confidence, went on. "I mean, someone actually thought that Alfyn Stalwart was your brother!" Young Thordan looked appalled. "Nobeast cared about your first death." The other Thordan looked wounded. "You don't get that where I-"

"Aren't you the one being sat on every four and a half hours?" Tragg chimed in. Half-blind though he was he could see victory now! The ferret could never live that down.

"N-no- I- that's." The ferret cleared his throat. "A m-misreading. Doesn't happen n-nearly so often, it never actually happens. Nev-"

One-Eye burst out laughing and hurled his paw in the air. "Guys? Raise your arm if your embarrassing experiences are just one-offs, not something weekly. Everybeast raised their paws in unison, with the exception of Fret, who flattened his ears in shame and defeat.

Young Thordan spoke, his voice lacking in gentleness. "I got crammed into a box and was tortured by tickling, but it sure beats being sat down thrice per fortnight! That's just horrible!"

"Oh come on!" Fret snapped. "It- it never- as if you've never been sat on! It doesn't even happen that often! I-"

A warm paw was placed on his shoulder and Fret's eyes came up to Old Thordan's incredibly condescending gaze. "Hey. Fret, come on now. It's just a little problem. How about you just... **sit** on it?"

The assembled creatures laughed at the joke, much to Fret's fury.

"I think we can all agree that Black and White does not have a say in all of this." Urthblood's tone was sombre and deep.

The united protagonists made noises of agreement.

"For one little thi-" Fret growled. Another paw was placed on his shoulder, and this time he was faced with Mekai.

"You're out." She said, casually flicking him away.

There was a puff of angry, black and white smoke and the ferret vanished.

"That leaves nine - ten of us. And I don't want to brag, but mine's without a doubt the best." Tragg cleared his throat, determined to make this speech his best one yet. "I mean, The Grey Warlord has, and probably is a mysterious evil spreading throughout the land, and a badgerlord has to settle a score in a duel with a mortal enemy during a siege of Salamandastron! How isn't that awesome?

"Because it's basically a ripoff of the Urthblood Saga?" Latura yawned.

"You have a point." Urthblood glowered down at the tiny creature.

"I- I can explain that! M-my author was such a big fan of your work that-"

"Out with you, shrew." Urthblood declared. Not wanting to be the next to turn to smoke, the remaining protagonists agreed.

"Hey! You can't just gang up on m-" A black hole opened up beneath him, and Tragg was dragged away screaming.

"He will return to his world." Mekai explained.

"Right." Urthblood next turned towards Young Thordan. "And you! A Realm Reborn is just as if Final Fantasy XIV and The Wheel of Time had a furry love-child! You stole all the characters names from Japanese video games that aren't even good! And this whole mess was your author's idea!"

"Hey!" There was an awkward silence. "Those games are brilliant!" The otter squeaked.

"All in favour?" Old Thordan raised his paw and the rest followed suit.

"Grandfather!" The younger Thordan shouted, long ropes appearing out of nowhere to drag him back to his realm.

"Sorry, not sorry! Just remember none of this is real!"

"Grandfather! No! Please!"

Old Thordan waved away the younger otter. "Goodbye, grandson! See you once you're canon!"

The black hole opened up once more, and Tragg popped out to glare at the remaining creatures. "Hey! It isn't our fault that our fics are less good than the others!"

Fret's muffled voice gave a growl of agreement, and the ferret's head appeared besides the shrew. "We're still new to this!"

"We're wasting time." Larina declared, shoving the two back into the wormhole. "The best fic's very obviously mine. Although nobody even knows that it exists, being a crossover, it has the most novel concepts. I mean, it's Star Wars! Everybeast likes Star Wars. It even has the opening crawl!

"I am still not ruling out that the one which started it all deserves to be the very best." Urthblood declared, crossing his paw over his chest.

"He has a point," said Beth, who had remained mostly silent until now. "I mean, he invented the 'good vermin' trope!"

"That's nepotism, badgermaid!" Larina shot back. "Besides, yours is a sidefic to another author's work, so it doesn't count! All the worldbuilding was done for you!"

Beth crossed her paws. "Crossovers don't count either! George Lucas did the worldbuilding for you! I mean, of all the things you can come up with, Star Wars? With squirrels? Forget it! I think that it had otter-like Selonians, but Squirrelians? Really?"

One-Eye was the next to make hid bid for the title. "II made my own modern Redwall fanfiction instead of stealing ideas from other franchises, got some incredible scenes, amazing plots, four - I mean FOUR planned sequels and I was the first fic to get a Warder invasion. Nothing could beat that!"

"I don't know what a Warder is." Mekai said bluntly, cracking her knuckles. Would she have to physically toss this one out?

The wormhole was once more opened, and Tragg returned with a vengeance. "Oh, come on! I got the cooler Warders! You got the cliched cackling ethically challenged sorcerer while I got a Conjuring dagger-throwing assassin! Try to beat that!"

"You two can thank my fic for that. All the best parts of your fics belong to me, after all." Young Thordan bragged, appearing besides the shrew. "Your fic contains the fifteen billion six hundred forty-three million four hundred forty-six thousand five hundred and fourth instance of a horde besieging Salamandastron! I don't think anybody wants to read that anymore!"

"I have better villains anyway!" The shrew shot back.

"You mean the Urthblood ripoff wildcat?" Fret snapped, squeezing in between the two.

"Whatever! The very concept of Warders is stupid anyways! Who in their right mind cares about them? They're just magic zombies! Ascians and Forsaken exist already! The concept's overused!" Tragg glared at Young Thordan. "Your author's just using them as a simpleton's excuse to develop characters posthumously!" Tragg spat. "I have got to break the fourth wall more often." He muttered to himself. "It's so empowering."

"I know right!" One-Eye cackled. "And I agree. Warders suck and so does your fic!"

"At least it had a proper plot!" The otter shot back.

"Hey! I had a plot too! I didn't like it, but it's a plot too!"

"At least we can agree that all four of your plots, proper or not, are horrible." Larina added, kicking the wildcat down the wormhole. The four protagonists screamed and fell back into oblivion. "Mine on the other paw-"

"Oh come off it!" Snapped Beth. "Nobody really cared about your protagonist, Larina! He's so depressed, he didn't even bother showing up here!"

"How dare you-"

"Out goes the squirrel?" Old Thordan suggested.

"Wha-"

"It has been decided." Mekai turned away from the squirrel, who promptly became one with the Force. Or not. In any case, she had disappeared. Latura, Old Thordan, Beth, Urthblood, Ding-Eye and Thura were the only protagonists remaining now.

"Beth, old girl," said Old Thordan sadly. "Let's not make this difficult. You're lucky to have gotten this far."

"Excuse me! You sacrificed your grandson to get here! If anyone should be voted out it should be you! Beth Redpaw is an excellent story. It has everything you could ask for in Red-"

"Is it better than my saga?" Urthblood asked.

"Y-yes! It is! B-better even!" There was an extended pause. The badgermaid sighed, and turned towards the wormhole. "I'll show myself out then."

Beth Redpaw hopped into the void, just in time to send the five crawling out of it back down.

"Alright, there's one very simple way to settle this mess once and for all." The suspiciously silent Latura cleared her throat. "Worstficsayswhat!"

Urthblood, who hadn't heard it so well, was the first to bark 'what'? Realization hit him a moment later, and turning a shade of crimson (which happened to be exactly like his armour) he turned away. "I have never been so insulted in my entire life. You too, Latura? We share an author!"

"All is fair in love and war." Latura waved him away, as Urthblood faded back into his saga.

"Nice one, Lattie!" Old Thordan cheered.

"So it's down to just us." The ratmaid narrowed her eyes.

"I think we can both agree that we are equally amazing." Old Thordan shrugged carelessly. "I don't care much for winnin-

"I'll let you kiss me just this once."

"Sold for one kiss!" The otter leaned forwards to peck at her cheek, only for Latura to dart to the side. The otterlord lost balance and fell into the wormhole with a scream.

"Grandfather!" Came the muffled voice of Young Thordan. "It's getting crowded in here!"

Latura stood triumphant over the portal, her arms on her chest, a grin on her face. There was nobeast of note to challenge hernow. "So, in the end… I win!"

"Now mucker!"

"Wha-" Latura whirled around, and before she could raise her eyebrows in surprise, was hurled down the wormhole by the pair.

"Woohoo! We're de best fic!"

"We win! We win! Ussn' stoatses are winners!"

Mekai clapped her paws together excitedly. "Excellent! Now I drag you into Nest and you try not to get killed by random contestants, non-player characters or even environmental hazards."

"W-wot?"

The sable pulled out a long list. "In 2015 a cat got eaten by a shark, in 2013, a child committed suicide by way of burning, and another cat got his intestines torn out by a crossbow in 2009. Truly fun and entertainment for all ages - until it got changed to PG-13."

The stoats' eyes widened in horror and then confusion, as they quite understandably never heard of age ratings.

"So do be careful, you two. You need caution on your side." Mekai went on conversationally, taking their paws in her own.

"But… but…"

The helpless stoats screamed in terror as the priestess dragged them away to worlds unknown - again.

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**Thanks to Sebias of Redwall (Tragg from The Grey Warlord), Keva Strongbow (Beth from Beth Redpaw), Highwing (Urthblood from The Crimson Badger and the Shrew War and Latura from both iterations of Latura of Redwall), One-Eye the Wildcat (himself from Sixclaw), Lord Infinity (Larina from The Fallen Light) and Airan's Enigma (Mekai from Mossflower Odyssey V: Heaven-Sent) for kindly lending their characters. Double thanks to The Grey Coincidence for lending Fret from Black and White and helping to co-author this wonderful mess of a parody. Both Thordans belong to me.**

**Most of the dialogue is taken (with a few adaptations and exceptions) from 'Dissidia: Final Fantasy in a nutshell' by RABtoons, and the three examples which are written on Mekai's list are Vasily from Mossflower Odyssey III: The Lost Treasure of Captain Blade, Poko from Mossflower Odyssey: The Journey to Carrigul and Dirano from Redscape. Rest in peace, knowing that all of you are remembered fondly.**

**To whoever is reading this, I wish that you have a good time.**


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